The pit that is my mind

I've made myself a prisoner of my own mind

I started climbing into it when I was 6 or 7 years old and before long I was sliding and then falling down into the dark muck below. There were things down there below me that I would sometimes feel gliding past me, like creatures of Hell threatening to catch me and drag me down deep below the surface of the muck, to bind me to whatever horror resides at the bottom so I could never come up again. As time went on I managed to climb a little ways up the wall and cling to the sides, but often I would lose my grip and fall back down again.

Gradually, I was able to climb higher and not fall so far down again, though fall I still do, but I have never been able to climb out. I'm still stuck here and it is very lonely and dark. I certainly don't want company here, it is a horrible place. I want to be free of this pit once and for all. I want to be with people and not always feel this separation from them. I want to know what they are feeling and not have to hear nothing but my own feelings over and over as the echo of them bounces off my prison wall again and again and again.

"And now these three remain, faith hope, and love...."
Some amount of faith and hope help adhere me to the wall, but to live all three out fully cannot be done from this dungeon.
Why can't I get out?
Do I not trust anyone to rescue me?
Do I not want anyone too?
Outside of this pit is a world I do not know. Perhaps I am too afraid to leave.